The action starts this Saturday at 1pm! Non Participants are invited as well to stop on by and rail our champions. If you'd like to show up a bit early, there will be burgers and dogs on the grill. It's always a great time putting meat in your mouth!
Also, there will be a cash game starting up at 5pm. Hopefully we'll have a few bust outs from the TOC and they'll feel like sticking around and licking their wounds with some good old fashioned gamboling. It's a smaller cash game than usual, just a $20 buy in with a mandatory stop loss of 5 buy ins max. Plus it's No Limit Hold-Em ONLY. For those of you who are curious to dabble in a bit o' cash action, but have been wary of our usual games higher stakes, this is a great opportunity to try it out without a loss greater than an LA bar tab.
So who will be playing in the TOC? Let's meet our champs!
Mike P. loves long walks on the beach. His turn offs are dirty fingernails and rude people. He also happens to be the winningest tournament player in the history of Pepper Street Poker. With two Player of the Year titles under his belt (or rather, on his wrist) Mike would for sure be a leading contender for any bookmaker who wanted to give odds on who is most likely to take this one down.
Plus his wife is hot.
Greg H. is a crusty veteran with years of experience at PSP and... oh wait, no, that's right. He's played a grand total of 3 tournaments in 4 years at Pepper Street. This year Greg decided his annual tournament would be in February and also decided that he would bring his hot wife with him and also win the tournament as well. Afterwards he said "Okay, my seat is locked up, fuck all of you all and see you in January where I'm going to take your monies and take a shit on the table before I leave. See you then. Bitches."
Jason H. left his hot wife at home for the TWO tournaments he won this year. As a double winner he will get hisself an extra 5K in chips to add to his already ginormous stack, which hopefully he will "donk off" quickly.
Also Poker Gods, please put him on my right, thank you.
Jeff S. is a quiet fellow who likes to bluff a lot and keep his cards close to his vest. Jeff has been busy of late and away from the Pepper Street garage, but he promises to return with a vengeance this weekend, as he informed me that his strategy was to "take it down." Yes, I'm just as disappointed as the rest of you that he has chosen this approach. Oh well. Second place is still worth $300 which is nothing to sneeze at.
Also, if he was married I'm sure his wife would be hot.
Chris M.'s hot wife will working at the Golden Globes when he sits down at the TOC this weekend. He also has a strategy of taking it down, but alas, he has not yet mastered the art of binking one outers by shouting at the board. It's something that he knows he has to work on. But who are we kidding? We all know this guy is a first class complainer and a bit of a tool box who has some sort of weird sign fetish and spends far too much time on this blog when he should be down at Commerce.
Andrew R. showed up on a rainy night about 2 years ago and promptly took down his first tournament at PSP. Then, as if to prove it wasn't a fluke, less than a year later he took down another one. I guess we really are all easy money after all, even though he does play Ace Jack like it's the fucking nuts.
Also, Andrew denies having a hot wife but we all know he is full of shit.
Stephen B. will be bringing the pain on the other TOC players this Saturday with his dangerous and aggressive play. Oh well, at least he is a nice fellow and for sure has a hot wife. Stephen is well known for his rad tattoos, but few know about the recent addition on the small of his back. It says "PSP FOREVER" in huge gothic lettering and has my face underneath it with a massive gold tooth studded grin. It's dope yo.
Marc F. is a world class prick and can fuck right off. But at least his wife is hot.
As far as poker is concerned, he's actually a hell of a player and yet another one in the bunch that I hope is on my right. Yes, at this rate, I hope they all end up on my right, except for Tony, but he didn't win a tournament this year anyways.
Garner K. has a hot wife who loves to knit and unfortunately he is another good poker player. He also loves to rock out and hosts a great game himself way the hell over by LAX. It's been great that he made it out so many times this year, even though it sucks that now I have to face him in the TOC. Speaking of TOC, the whole thing was basically his idea. That is, I stole it from his game and took credit for it. I'm a real jerk sometimes.
Allen Q. is a maniacal player who will play any two cards from any position and beat other players down with relentless and psychotic aggression. Witness the J3 cards in his champion pic, he sucked out on my AA with all the money in pre-flop in the final hand of that tournament. Afterwards he screamed like banshee at the top of his lungs with both arms in the air, dancing like a maniac for a full minute in a half chanting "You suck!" and making rude gestures with his fingers and ass, two inches from my face. Other than that though, he's pretty quiet at the table.
So there you have it! All of our champeens and their secrets laid bare. While it may seem that this blog post is little more than a passive aggressive rant, hammered out hastily just to belittle and disparage - at least I did include myself, so therefore all is forgiven.
Good luck to all of us, every one! And don't be cheap bastards and take off right after you bust. Hang out and then get into the cash game and get unstuck! (Even though yes, this is a free roll.)
Can't wait for Saturday!
